‘either I’m nobody, or I’m a nation’

waoFinished reading the novel over the weekend. Entered the book blind, only knew it has won the Pulitzer and that Jake’s been dogging me months ago to buy it but I didn’t because I couldn’t afford the hardcover. Thought “Oscar Wao” is a child and the novel’s a coming-of-age story. I suppose it is. But it’s more. Much, much, much more. I would like to summarize the novel and give at least a coherent book review but I know I’ll just end up sounding like the blurbs (“…deliciously casual and vibrant…” “[a] kick-ass [and truly, that is just the word for it] work of modern fiction” “…at times expertly stunning us with heart-stabbing sentences…” “a splendid portrait of ordinary folks set against the extraordinarily cruel history of the Dominican Republic in the twentieth century”).

What else can I offer? It reads like A Hundred Years of Solitude (family tree, curse, magical realism) as narrated by Kanye West. Or possibly Chris Rock doing stand-up. (“Players: never never never fuck with a bitch named Awilda. Because when she awildas out on your ass you’ll know pain for real.”) Just consider the way he describes their horrible dictator Trujillo: a personaje so outlandish, so perverse, so dreadful that not even a sci-fi writer could have made his ass up. Just consider the way he describes Trujillo’s assassination: the escopeta wielded by Antonio de la Maza…goes boo-ya!

Man, I’d like to see those words used in a history book. Boo-ya. And ass. Heh.

So you don’t know Trujillo. Yeah, me too (I checked the encyclopedia – yes, I did, Volume D, “Dominican Republic” – but the article just skirted over the details of his dictatorship). And the narrator knows about your non-knowledge too, beginning his Trujillo crash-course with: For those of you who missed your mandatory two seconds of Dominican history. Perhaps with bitterness. Perhaps with resignation.

It’s about Trujillo, it’s about Oscar and his family, it’s about a raped country, it’s about diaspora, it’s about hating where you came from and not particularly liking where you ended up in, and yet dealing with it, just dealing with it, and how hard that is. This line just killed me: Ten million Trujillos is all we are.

Everybody should read this goddamn book.

Note: Title of entry from one of the novel’s two epigraphs (The Schooner “Flight” by Derek Walcott). The other epigraph came from Fantastic Four. Now figure that one out. :)

Photo credit: Redpen

‘see? poetry.’

[6:46 PM]<me> may nipadala friend ko na link sa isang apartelle sa bohol. gusto ko lang ipagpag, natawa ako dito “A villa dramatically anchored on a cliff with spanning view of the sea and the majestic sunset.” sabi ko sa kanya, paano kung hindi siya anchored “dramatically”, malalaglag kaya siya?
[6:46 PM]<me> What if i-try natin siya i-anchor “grammatically” ganyan, or “perilously.”
[6:46 PM]<me> ahahahah bwisit
[6:47 PM]<kate> HAHAHAHAHAH
[6:47 PM]<kate> grammatically ampota
[6:47 PM]<kate> “hanging on by an apostrophe”
[6:48 PM]<me> now there’s poetry
[6:48 PM]<me> AHHAHAHAHAHAH
[6:48 PM]<me> shet we should take notes
[6:48 PM]<kate> so conchitina would say
[6:48 PM]<kate> hahaha
[6:48 PM]<kate> troooo
[6:48 PM]<me> ahahha
[6:48 PM]<kate> we should compile our conversations over chat, really.
[6:48 PM]<me> or pwedeng title ng rock album
[6:48 PM]<me> or pangalan ng rock band
[6:48 PM]<kate> tapos let’s pass it off as poetry
[6:48 PM]<me> AAHHAHAHAHA
[6:48 PM]<kate> by removing both our names
[6:48 PM]<me> oo konting tweaks lang sa line cuts
[6:48 PM]<kate> tapos ang claim natin to fame e surprise poetry siya, ganyan.
[6:48 PM]<me> tapos sasabihin natin, We let space do the talking.
[6:48 PM]<kate> HAHAHAHAHAHa
[6:49 PM]<me> kabog sila dyan bakla
[6:49 PM]<kate> tabi jan high chair
[6:49 PM]<me> pota
[6:49 PM]<me> ahahhah
[6:49 PM]<kate> eto kami, wheelchair naman.
[6:49 PM]<kate> hahahah
[6:49 PM]<me> AHAHAHHAHAHAHA
[6:49 PM]<me> bakit bumenta bakit bumentaaaaaaa
[6:50 PM]<kate> hindi ko alam te
[6:50 PM]<kate> ewan ko sayo
[6:50 PM]<kate> haha
[6:51 PM]<me> ahahha iba-blog ko to.
[6:51 PM]<me> sabog eh
[6:51 PM]<kate> see?
[6:51 PM]<kate> poetry.

* * *

But really now, High Chair publishes great poetry. Some faves:

Benjamin Paloff’s “Time and Sense”

Christina Mengert’s “Elegy”

Vincenz Serrano’s “How can it be that the sublime can only be approached and never touched”

* * *

I am again in that phase where I believe I can write poetry. Hm. Well. At least it keeps me entertained. I miss workshops.

I need beta testers. Any takers? :)

‘surreal suburbia’

imagedbcgi The American suburbia has always been much maligned. Think Rick Moody’s The Ice Storm, think The Stepford Wives, think Desperate Housewives. In suburbia, everything is perfect, and everyone is lonely – because of, despite of.

A.M. Homes’ short story collection The Safety of Objects, first published in 1990, uncovers the bizarre in places where everything is supposed to follow the rules. In “Looking for Johnny”, a man, possibly crazed, kidnaps a young boy and later on tells him that he is not the right kid, he is bringing him back. The boy, who has been begging to be taken home, suddenly realizes the weight of this judgment and apologizes, asking his kidnapper: “What is wrong with me?”

At the beginning of “Esther in the Night”, a mother imagines a burglar breaking into her family’s home, imagines him rounding them up and noticing the “room there with the light on”. The mother imagines herself saying there is no one there, but the burglar will be persistent, and she’ll have to open the door and show him her son lying on the bed, hooked on tubes, dead but not dead. She imagines the burglar seeing this, and running away from their house, not wanting to take anything anymore.

In “Adults Alone”, Elaine is joyous after dropping off her two sons at her mother-in-law’s, but later on thinks, “Without the children, with nothing absolutely required of her, she is exhausted. She is more tired than she ever remembers being.”

I’ve never read a collection quite like it.

(The title of this entry is taken from the back cover of the 2001 paperback edition. The entire sentence reads: “Working in Kodacolor hues, Homes offers an uncanny picture of a surreal suburbia – outrageous and utterly believable.”)

Photo credit: Powells.com

out loud

I can’t read well. I mispronounce words, I use the wrong intonation, I sound clumsy. Back in college I dreaded that part during workshops where you had to read the poem the class was going to fillet discuss and critique. I can’t do poetry/fiction readings. I’d rather sit and listen. Or stay in a corner and read the work to myself; this is usually the case.

A few months back I listened to the New Yorker Fiction Podcast featuring T.C. Boyle reading Tobias Wolff’s “Bullet in the Brain”. It is a great short story; it got the reader it deserved. I wish I could do that – do accents, voice-emote, read with such energy the characters come to life.

The podcast can be downloaded here (and it’s free!), along with other readings. Other featured readers were Tobias Wolff himself, Jeffrey Eugenides, Jhumpa Lahiri, Paul Theroux, Junot Diaz (who reads his own short story).

The latest: A.M. Homes’ reading Shirley Jackson’s “The Lottery”. Another favorite story, yay.

(But seriously, if you haven’t read “Bullet in the Brain”, then you HAVE to read it. I found an online copy here. I recommend having the file open on your PC while listening to Boyle. :) )

making fun of obama

This article really made me laugh. :)

From AP, via Yahoo News:

By FRAZIER MOORE, AP Television Writer Frazier Moore, Ap Television Writer Mon Nov 10, 11:42 am ETNEW YORK – Where’s the funny in Barack Obama?

That question, which dogged TV humorists throughout the presidential race, has gained new urgency now that Obama is headed for the White House.

His victory last week signaled imminent hardship for comics who lampoon political leaders for a living. The laugh-a-minute 2008 campaign is history, and soon there’ll be no President Bush to kick around in comedy sketches or talk-show monologues.

Adding to the jesters’ plight: Obama will soon be sworn in as the next Punch-Line-In-Chief.

Here is a man who inspires admiration, excitement or, maybe, suspicion. What he doesn’t inspire (in any measurable quantity, so far) are cheap laughs.

“A dignified, thoughtful, charismatic, smart man who doesn’t run at the mouth,” summed up Craig Ferguson, host of CBS’ “Late Late Show,” in the aftermath of eight go-go Bush years for comics. “Is it a challenge to our creative juices to find something funny about Obama? God, yes!”

Right after the election, some TV wags were even waxing nostalgic on the air, however tongue-in-cheek.

On Comedy Central‘s “The Daily Show,” Jon Stewart said he was already missing the Bush administration — and his own George W. Bush impression, which had served him so well at the anchor desk.

“As a comedian,” NBC’s Jay Leno echoed to his “Tonight Show” audience, “I’m going to miss President Bush. Barack Obama is not easy to do jokes about. He doesn’t give you a lot to go on. See, this is why God gave us (Vice President-elect) Joe Biden.

“When one door closes, another one opens up.”

True, as a six-term U.S. Senator and lately as Obama’s running mate, Biden has cemented his reputation for blurting out remarks before they’re vetted by his brain. (Item: Biden declared that “Franklin D. Roosevelt got on the television” to address the nation when the stock market crashed in October 1929 — even though Herbert Hoover was president then and TV was barely invented.)

The host of HBO’s “Real Time,” comic Bill Maher describes himself as “a policy guy who tries to stick more to what politicians do than who they are.” But that doesn’t mean he’s immune to the problem Obama represents.

“It’s always better if the president is stupid, or fat, or cheating on his wife, or angry, or a phony. This guy is none of those things. And that,” said Maher with a laugh, “is really unfair.

Humor often relies on stereotypes and caricature, but comics haven’t yet sussed out how to caricature Obama, and so far he has defied any categorical stereotypes — even that of a black man.

Magician-comedian Penn Jillette recalled how “there have been jokes about Bush that had nothing to do with him being stupid or wrong — just about his being from Texas, since he has a slight Texas accent.

“But if you wanted to do black jokes about Obama, none of them are applicable: It’s as if he were from Texas, but without the Texas accent.”

dave barry, on the us elections

I loooove Dave Barry. :) This latest column of his, however, worries me a little bit because he actually sounds serious.

He “analyzes” the recently concluded elections, then says that he misses the 1960s, where the grown-ups “were capable of understanding a concept that we seem to have lost, which is that people who disagree with you politically are not necessarily evil or stupid.”

This is Dave Barry speaking. Dave Barry.

Read the article here, from the Miami Herald.

I’m posting an excerpt:

In analyzing the results of Tuesday’s historic election, the question we must ask ourselves, first and foremost, is: what the heck were the results of Tuesday’s historic election?

I personally don’t know. The Miami Herald made me send in this analysis before the election was actually over, so that it could be printed in a timely manner. This is part of the newspaper industry’s crafty plan to defeat this ”Internet” thing that has the youngsters so excited.

Anyway, my election analysis, based on weeks of reading political bogs, listening to talk radio and watching campaign ads on television, is that one of the following things is true:

Barack Obama is our next president, which is very bad because he is a naive untested wealth-spreading terrorist-befriending ultraliberal socialist communist who will suddenly reveal his secret Muslim identity by riding to his inauguration on a camel shouting ”Death to Israel!” (I mean Obama will be shouting this, not the camel) after which he will wreck the economy by sending Joe the Plumber to Guantánamo and taxing away all the income of anybody who makes over $137.50 per year and giving it to bloated government agencies that will deliberately set it on fire.

Or, John McCain is our next president, which is very bad because he is a 287-year-old out-of-touch multiple-house-owning fascist who will rape the environment and build nuclear power plants inside elementary schools and reinstate slavery and create tax loopholes that benefit only people who own three or more personal helicopters, after which he will declare war on the entire United Nations and then keel over dead and leave us with commander-in-chief Sarah ”Flash Card” Palin.

Or, Ralph Nader is our next president, which is very bad because it means there has been a successful Klingon invasion.

Or, the outcome of the election is being disputed because of irregularities such as unregistered horses voting in Ohio, or some Florida county tabulating votes in Roman numerals, or God knows what else, which is very bad because it means the next president will be selected via a giant Lawyer-Palooza court fight that will go on until it’s time to hold the Iowa caucuses for the NEXT presidential election.

So basically my analysis is that, whatever happened, we are, as a nation, doomed. We are also bitterly divided, because whoever wins, roughly half of us will despise the other half, and vice versa.

dinner dinner

I got my much needed pick-me-up on Friday (this week had just been exhausting for me, I don’t know why), when I went out to have dinner with my high school girlfriends (and one of the girls’ boyfriends). We went to Avenetto at its MOA branch. (We almost switched to Sbarro when we couldn’t be seated right away, but we got tired of walking.)

avenetto83

I’ve never tried that restaurant before, didn’t know they had such big servings. (Good, too, that I was warned by Sasa and Grace Anne. I mean, what if I ordered a pasta dish all by myself?)

Then Haagen-Dazs for dessert. Sasa ordered Seventh-Heaven-something-or-other; the dry ice in the middle was supposed to represent Heaven. I thought it was a nice touch. (I still don’t understand why the ice cream has to be so expensive, though. I mean – it’s ice cream!)

haagen-crop

I was able to get extra whipped cream and a cinema pass, thanks to Sasa’s power authority beauty employee discount bullying skills.

More photos at my Multiply site. All photos credited to Sasa and RJ. Thanks, guys!

(By the way, these girls and I are planning a trip to Bohol early next year. We’re going to stay in Cebu for a short while – do you know of a nice cheap nice place where we can stay? :) E-mail me or leave a comment.)

* * *

The next day, Saturday, I met up with ex-office mate Eden at Trinoma. (In July last year I had a month-long stint as web copywriter. I took the job because two months of post-college joblessness just felt too long and I was getting anxious and paranoid and impatient and angry with myself for not getting a job sooner. I left because there was too much work and the pay wasn’t really good.) Eden talked like she just downed five cups of coffee. While we were inside Powerbooks she gushed over Atonement, and ripped Stephenie Meyer, Paulo Coelho, and Nicholas Sparks – in that order. I participated in the exercise (Meyer’s okay, not blow-me-away good; Coelho I believe may just be a victim of bad translation, to which Eden replied, “E bakit si Gabriel Garcia-Marquez? Ano yun, magaling lang translator niya?” Well, good point. As for Sparks – hm, no), then got a little frightened halfway through. Meyer fans can be really brutal.

We left the bookstore without buying anything. (I wanted to buy a copy of 20th Century Ghosts, but it was sold out.)

The last time Eden and I met, I practically forced her to watch Jesse James. So this time she practically forced me to watch Quantum of Solace. I wasn’t even able to watch Casino Royale. Come to think of it, Quantum might have been the first Bond film I was able to watch in entirety. It was all right; I had fun.

I just adored the song (Jack White! Jack White!) in the opening credits:

Mary Grace (another restaurant I’ve never tried before): Food for the Gods, Mango Bene. Terrific.

Before we went home, she bought me a book (A.M. Homes’ The Safety of Objects) as a late birthday gift.

Or maybe because I just kept dogging her to do so.

Hm. I should do that more often. :)