Category: writing

the missing keys: a comedy

Last night, at the condo:

Me (grumpy and tired): *can’t find keys in the bag while in the elevator*

Me: *is now grumpier*

Elevator: Ding

Me: *walks to the door of the unit and sets bag on the floor* *practically empties bag* *is still in denial that she has left her damn keys in her damn room*

Me: Damn it.

Me: *knocks on door* *opens cell phone to call flatmate* *cell phone dies*

Me: Fuck!

Me: *remembers landlady’s unit number* *hurries over to this unit*

Guy in the Unit: Yes?

Me: Is <landlady> in here?

Guy in the Unit: Oh. No.

Me: *explains her situation* So you mean she doesn’t live here?

Guy in the Unit: No, she lives in <another unit in another building>. Do you have her number? I can text her. Come in.

Me: *stands around for a bit inside the unit* *which by the way looks better than the unit she rents* *what is up with that?* *aimless chatter* I’ll go knock again and see if anyone answers.

Me: *runs across the floor to get to her unit* *knocks like there’s a fire* *knocks like Marc Nelson is outside and is naked and damn it girls YOU HAVE TO SEE THIS* *runs back to the other unit*

Me: Can I plug in my phone? So sorry.

Landlady: Oh dear, I’m outside! We’ll be at the unit in ten minutes. Can you wait?

Me: *seriously doubts Landlady will be at the unit in 10 minutes* Okay! *calls flatmate* *flatmate answers* Hey, thanks for letting me stay here, there’s someone who can open my door now, okay bye!

Guy in the Unit: Um. Okay.

Me: *runs* *gets inside unit YES!* *meets another flatmate WHO HAS SPARE KEYS TO HER ROOM HALLELUJAH*

Keys: You dumb bitch.

* * *

When I got to the office today, on my table were (1) my mp3 player (2) my two flash drives. I didn’t even know I had left them there. And I even opened my laptop last night to fix this unfinished story (didn’t do it, watched sitcom episodes instead like a responsible writer). Usually my brain goes like this ~ laptop ~music ~ mp3 player ~ flash drives. Last night, nothing.

Me: *sees the stuff left behind* *suddenly experiences delayed panic*

* * *

Gawd, my brain, gawd.

* * *

I have a story that’s done but it bores me and it doesn’t seem to be working, so maybe I’ll spec-ficfy it. Spec-ficfy. Sounds weird.

* * *

The novella/novel moved forward a bit, and then stopped again. Gawd, my brain.

Gawd.

one for elimae

In the (e)mail:

Hello, Eliza. Let’s do “Storytellers” for the August issue, which should appear about the 15th of the month. Welcome aboard.

Yay! :D

I absolutely adore this literary journal, and I’m glad I’m going to be a part of it.

* * *

I’ll link once the poem’s up. For the meantime, read “December 1980” by Nicelle Davis. She also has another poem (plus a recording) in The Pedestal Magazine. Listen to her read “The Missing Text of the Gospel of Judas“.

What? When I discover a new poet, I Google him/her. What’s weird about that?

Oh, shut it.

noted

Just a few minutes ago I’ve been informed by Charles Tan (who manages to read and review several magazines/novels/websites, hold a day job, write fiction on the side, and, possibly, eat, because he has ten clones and/or can bilocate – I’m still not quite sure) that Locus Magazine has praised/mentioned a number of stories off Philippine Speculative Fiction IV – including my story, “Parallel”.

*weird dancing commences*

View the table of contents of Locus’s July issue here. It lets us know that the review is on Page 27, but unfortunately the content’s not available online.

A great honor. Now to find a way to get a copy of the magazine.

Oh, and since you’re here, buy a copy of PSF IV. Yes? Yes???

All right, then. :)

got it

Photo20097131338687

I’m tickled that Expanded Horizons gave me a handwritten check. Hee.

I know it sounds like payment for some legally unsavory services (which might be why the people at the bank kept looking at me funny; they were taking so long with the check that I actually started feeling like a criminal), but really, “Night Out” is a story. Which you can read here, if you feel like it.

EH is also currently accepting submissions for its Fairy Tale issue.

They want stories that

reinterpret well-known (or less well-known) fairy tales and fantasy stories, or tropes. A starting point would be stories told from another character’s viewpoint, for example. (Women, fae, or even otherkin…)

Stories which flesh out the women characters in fairy tales is another possible angle. Stories which thoughtfully reinterpret or relocate “European” fairy tales in non-European contexts are also interesting to us (especially since many of these stories have non-European origins, for example, Cinderella). What happens to fairy tales when cultures collide is another idea.

If you have something – a story, an idea – then by all means work on it and send it in!

* * *

So I’ve started watching BBT‘s Season 2. Some random thoughts:

1. I want Sheldon Cooper’s T-shirt folder.

2. I think Leonard looks like a gay beautician.

* * *

Penny: Has Leonard ever dated a girl who’s not, you know, smart?

Sheldon: Well, once he dated a woman who has a Ph. D. in French Literature.

Penny: How does that not count as “smart”?

Sheldon: Well, for starters, she’s French. And it’s literature.

* * *

The rack where I hang my clothes finally collapsed beneath the weight of my various tops and pants, and so I came home and found my clothes on the floor. Being an enterprising homeowner, I Mighty-Bonded the rack to the door.

Evidently I had applied too much Mighty Bond. I now own a blouse glued to its hanger.

True story.

and i’m in!

Joseph Nacino and Dean Alfar have released their final line-up for The Farthest Shore: Fantasy from the Philippines anthology.

Mr. Nacino writes:

Hear ye, hear ye.

After much deliberation, dean and I have finally decided which stories will be accepted in The Farthest Shore anthology. These are:

1. Balancing Darkness- Rodelle Santos
2. Hindsight- Paolo Chikiamco
3. Rite of Passage- Dominique Cimafranca
4. The Just World of Helena Jimenez – Eliza Victoria
5. Spelling Normal- Mia Tijam
6. Emberwilde – Nikki Alfar
7. Light – Kate Aton-Osias
8. They Spoke of Her in Whispers – Bessie Lasala
9. In the Arms of Beishu – Vincent Simbulan
10. Wildwater- Crystal Koo

The 11th and 12th story will be a contribution from both co-editors to anchor the anthology.

I’m loving the titles of my co-contributors’ stories. This is going to be an exciting read. :)

big if

big ifMark Costello’s novel Big If is populated with some of the most interesting, most contemporary, characters. Walter is a moderate Republican atheist working in insurance. He has the habit of crossing out GOD in his dollar bills so that the statement reads IN US WE TRUST. He has two children: Jens, who has grown up as a software programmer, writing code for and pondering the morality (or immorality, or amorality) of the monster game he has developed; Violet has grown up to work in the Secret Service. Vi is assigned to the VP, who is running for president and will have to go to the Democratic primary in New Hampshire to jog (surrounded by security), eat at a McDonald’s (surrounded by media), and shake hands with the common people to get their vote. Jens’s wife, Peta, is a realtor assigned to manage a supposedly boring building now being attacked by a group of violent right-to-lifers. Gretchen, Vi’s superior, has separated from his douchebag boyfriend, but his son has found the boyfriend’s address by Googling himself, and now wants to spend time with his father. Before Lydia married Secret Service agent Lloyd Felker, her talent agent said, You’re not supposed to marry your own agent. And I’m your agent! He’s not that kind of agent, Lydia said, and her talent agent said, Oh my god, is he a literary agent? How will you be able to feed yourself?

Big If, published in 2002, was a finalist for the National Book Award. I wonder what novel it came up against. Costello’s novel was funny and touching and relevant enough to have won.

And the back cover has a blurb from Jonathan Franzen, saying the book is filled with “inside dope”. I mean, come on.

* * *

Next: probably Eden Express. I’m still reading The Blind Assassin, but it’s too rich, I can’t devour it all at once.

I’m also interested in this book:

random

The last good non-fiction book I’ve read was Watching the English by Kate Fox. Pop sociology for the win.

english

* * *

In other news, a story of mine is being considered for a fantasy anthology, but the editors are asking for a major edit. I’ve already edited it, re-sent it. Hope the new version does the trick. We’ll see. ;)

Congrats to Paolo for receiving that acceptance letter. Hooray!

new poem

In the (e)mail:

Eliza, thank you for your recent submission to THLR [The Houston Literary Review].  I’ll take “News About the End of the World” for [the] September Issue.


Yay. :D

I’ll link once the issue goes live.