newcomer, etcetera, etc.

I usually hate structured events. Like seminars, orientations, company-sponsored parties. Anything that involves name tags and games. And presentations (group dance, interpretative or otherwise [leadership seminars are big on this]; skit, a sharing session of sorts that must culminate in an artwork [“The Youth’s Plan for the Future” or some similar shit]).

I sound like a scrooge, but it’s the awkwardness that gets me. And the silence after an event host (bright-eyed, cheerful, hooked on caffeine) asks a question. In that silence you know somebody wants to answer but doesn’t want to be branded as an eager beaver. People hate eager beavers. And it’s embarrassing. And absolutely uncool. It’s just a fucking seminar, why will you be so excited? So everyone assumes a bored expression and the event becomes lethargic.

But the Newcomers’ Get-Together at work was okay. I got invited because apparently the definition of “newcomer” in this company is n. someone who has not yet attended a newcomers’ party. So I’m a “newcomer”, even though I’ve been here for a little over a year. Food from Friday’s. And chocolates. And tsismis! (A staff writer used to work as the band manager of Yano. HOLYPAKINGSHET. Writer said: “Para lang akong yaya.”)

And chocolates!

I still don’t know why the employees’ center has so many chocolates. Do they (HR personnel) create those spontaneously? Is that included in their qualifications? Computer literate, hardworking, has the ability to conjure chocolates from thin air. And why won’t they eat them themselves? If I worked there I’d—

Well. Thank goodness I didn’t work there.

There was a game (yeah, yeah) where you’d write your first impression on a piece of paper taped to the person’s back. Here’s what I got:

matalino, energetic (Edson wrote this. I used to be his trainee back during my internship days, so I don’t know if these really were his first impressions of me or if he’s just being nice)

kwela

nice

mabait and shy

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

* * *

Anyway, just read this and found it hilarious/sad/infuriating:

[Capiz Rep.] Del Rosario said liquid fertilizer was fit, not for rice, but for ornamental plants.

Bolante replied that Capiz had become a promising exporter of ornamental plants.

PESTE. Sounded like the sort of thing you’d tell your mom if you wanted to piss her off.

* * *

And I was just about to post this blog entry when I got a call from a reader very intimately connected to the subject of an article I’ve written before. Reader said: “When I read the article, I thought, ‘She’s fantastic! She got everything right!’ A lot of people have written about this and I remember having to correct them all the time but this…this article was just perfect.”

She said she was calling in behalf of the family, to thank me.

I am grateful. :D Thanks, Universe.