uncovered

From a response paper I wrote for some CW course:

It is a mercy, then, that no two poets have the same inner life. As readers this allows us to see the world transform and transform again; as writers this allows us to offer something that no other person can offer. Every vision becomes not only true, but necessary, shedding light on the things the others have missed, or simply chose to ignore. This is Rothenberg’s “life-giving vision”, Kelly’s step beyond the “epiphany”, beyond the “flakes of mica embedded in” the pavement, seen for the first time. It is not enough that we see; it is necessary for us to let/make others see, to turn that hum in our head when we walk in the cold at night, that sudden inexplicable flash, that sudden shapeless dream, into the worst thing it can possibly be: a poem, made up of words. If only poems do not have to go through language, if only poems can be given to the world the way they come to us, elusive and formless and pure. But as Kelly says, “We are given: 1 world to transform, 1 language to transform it with.” So be it. We write, no matter how much is sieved and lost in the process, because every vision is legitimate, and needed.


So who’s Rothenberg and who’s Kelly? I seem to know so much about them.

* * *

In retrospect though – I think I still believe in whatever shiz I’ve written years ago. :)

Now, if only I can make myself write again with the same ferocity. *Sigh*

new –

1. hair

hair

The last time I had my hair treated was for the Univ grad. I’ve been trying to shrink away from “unnecessary” expenses, but to quote Erika: “Love yourself.” So there.

I’ve always had problems with my hair. To quote Glads, or probably that old milk commercial: “It’s the genes.”

2. thumbtacks

corkboard

What? There’s an empty, sad corkboard in my room and I found some cute thumbtacks in a bookstore and I was bored one morning and the thumbtacks look like candy I love it.

cboard-zoom

3. kittens

kittens

We had a cat before who ran away. Apparently she now thinks our house is a feline orphanage.

Not complaining. :)

kitten-1

kitten-2

4. TV obsession

Do you guys watch this show? I’ve finished the first season and I loved it. If you liked Dogma (actually the series is produced by Kevin Smith; he also directed the pilot) you’ll enjoy this one.

It concerns Sam who found out on his 21st birthday that his parents had a deal with the Devil: he’ll heal Sam’s dad, and they’ll give him Sam the day he turns 21. Now Sam is under the Devil’s employ as bounty hunter.

They say Season 2 will start March – hope I’ll be able to watch it.

the devil (ray wise) and sam (bret harrison)
the devil (ray wise) and sam (bret harrison)

[on why he hates Halloween]

Devil (to Sam): It’s the commercialization of evil!

*

[on Hell]

Devil (to Sam): You know who works for me at the Central Office? White-collar criminals. It’s horrible. They hate me, they hate their jobs. I can’t even ask for a cup of coffee.

*

[Sam finds out that their gay couple neighbor are demons. The gay demon couple doesn’t know that he knows. Sam avoids them. The couple confronts him.]

Demon1: It’s because we’re gay, isn’t it.

Sam: What? No. No. [struggles] You’re demons.

Demon1: [seethes] Oh. Oh. Well, the homophobia I’ll be able to understand, but “fallen angels cursed to walk the earth for all of eternity” – that you can’t accept? That’s racist, Sam. I mean, you’re a Reaper.

Sam: How –

Demon1: Gladdys [another demon] plays racquetball with me, she told me.

Sam: Have you guys…ever eaten anyone?

[pause]

Demon2: That’s offensive.

Demon1: You don’t have to listen to this.

Demon2: That’s offensive.

*

Ah, wit. Bless them. :)

(Transcripts from memory. Reaper photo from Star-eCentral )

subtext

Smart people talk about ideas, and so on and so forth.

* * *

[1:44 PM] <lawrence> you will love the lyrics of DECODE – yung OST ng Twilight
[1:44 PM] How did we get here When I used to know you so well But how did we get here I think I know The truth is hiding in your eyes and its hanging on your tongue Just boiling in my blood but you think that I cant see What kind of man that you are, if you’re a man at all Well I will figure this one out on my own
[1:46 PM] <lawrence> yan ang kanta ng mga gf na may naamoy sa bf nila
[1:46 PM] <eliza> HAHAHAHAH gusto ko yan
[1:47 PM] <eliza> What kind of man that you are, if you’re a man at all
[1:47 PM] <lawrence> at si ate, sabi,”I will figure this one out on my own.” yon. investigation.
[1:47 PM] <lawrence> ahahahhahaha
[1:47 PM] <eliza> bakla ka talaga lawrence

* * *

[11:54 AM] <eliza> ‘Dream Match calls for KO win’
Manny: I’ll give my best
By Francis T.J. Ochoa, Assistant Sports Editor
LAS VEGAS—FIVE YEARS AFTER THEY FIRST CAUGHT A SIGNIFIcant glimpse of each other, Manny Pacquiao and Oscar De La Hoya found themselves in the center of a whirlwind, caught in a moment none of them ever dreamed would happen.
[11:54 AM] <eliza> ang Tagalog pocketbooks/telenovela/historical romance lang
[11:55 AM] <kate> ay nako si cois lumalabas ang reading list.

* * *

[2:14 PM] <schatz> sabi ni roach re pacquiao
[2:14 PM] <schatz> “He’s so tight,” Roach said. “I’ve never seen a fighter who is so experienced so tight before a fight.”

* * *

Later: Lawrence is writing a profile on Pacquiao –
[6:35 PM] <eliza> at nandyan ka pa pala
[6:35 PM] <lawrence> waaaaah
[6:36 PM] <lawrence> tapusin ko ang pacquiao na ito
[6:36 PM] <eliza> lagay mo nga he’s tight. pampahaba din yun.
[6:36 PM] <eliza> WOW that sounded wrong
[6:36 PM] <lawrence> waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
[6:36 PM] <lawrence> mommmmyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

* * *

Other times we talk about politics. The US financial crisis. Whether Nate and Jenny should end up together. Heavy stuff.

smile

Picture’s not mine, it’s Mark U‘s (who’s currently recuperating from a dead toenail). I was holed up in the apartment the whole day Friday, totally missed it. Darn.

smile
say cheese! wait, wait, cheese = moon. *thinks* WOW.


Ang hirap na lang gawan ng tula ang ganitong pangyayari sa kalawakan ano. Parang nangga-gago lang eh, haha.

Well, anyway, other parts of the globe saw a “frown” instead of a “smile”.

The National Geographic News offered this interesting trivia:

In fact, some historians think that a similar conjunction between Jupiter and Venus in 2 B.C. may be the source of the “star of Bethlehem” story related in the Bible.

The stellar pair would have appeared so close together, scholars think, that they might have seemed to meld into one brilliant beacon of light.

Still magical even without the religious overtones. :)

why web 2.0 is love

You come across crazy stuff like Hamlet told via Facebook news feed.

Fave bits:

The king poked the queen.

The queen poked the king back.

Hamlet and the queen are no longer friends.

Marcellus is pretty sure something’s rotten around here.

Hamlet became a fan of daggers.

Hamlet wonders if he should continue to exist. Or not.

Hamlet thinks Ophelia might be happier in a convent.

Ophelia removed “moody princes” from her interests.

Hamlet posted an event: A Play That’s Totally Fictional and In No Way About My Family

The king commented on Hamlet’s play: “What is wrong with you?”

Polonius thinks this curtain looks like a good thing to hide behind.

Polonius is no longer online.

Ophelia loves flowers. Flowers flowers flowers flowers flowers. Oh, look, a river.

Ophelia joined the group Maidens Who Don’t Float.

Laertes wonders what the hell happened while he was gone.

Flowers flowers flowers flowers flowers. Oh, look, a river. AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA.

* * *

Consequently, you end up with online banter like this:

[1:20 PM]<eliza> dapat itry natin sa Florante at Laura ganyan

[1:21 PM]<kate> Florante is tied to a fig tree.

[1:21 PM]<kate> ganyan.

[1:22 PM]<eliza> yes ganyan

[1:22 PM]<kate> hahahahhah

[1:22 PM]<eliza> Florante now likes Muslims.

[1:22 PM]<kate> Florante poked Laura. ganyan.

[1:22 PM]<kate> HAHAHAHAHA

[1:22 PM]<kate> dapat plurk naman.

[1:22 PM]<eliza> ahahahah

[1:22 PM]<eliza> Florante and Laura have reached Nirvana (insert Nirvana emoticon)

[1:23 PM]<kate> HAHAHAHAHAHA

[1:23 PM]<eliza> sabooooog

[1:23 PM]<kate> kaso di ko memorized yung plot ng F&L

[1:24 PM]<kate> dapat news na lang.

[1:24 PM]<kate> JDV III has removed “broadband technology” from his interests.

[1:24 PM]<eliza> HAHAHAHAH gusto ko yan

[1:25 PM]<eliza> De Venecia throws a sheep at GMA.

[1:25 PM]<kate> Mike A is sick.

[1:25 PM]<kate> Mike A has stomach cramps.

[1:25 PM]<kate> Mikey A wants independence

weekend update

Sorry. Couldn’t think of a better title.

* * *

Watched Bolt with the brother on Saturday as an act of rebellion (four of the seven cinemas in Trinoma screened Twilight; probably three-quarters of the population lined up in Trinoma that day was going to see Twilight.) At one point the seat plan of Cinema 7 [THX] showing the occupied seats was flashed on one of the LCD screens, and we saw red. (The seat plan for One True Love on the other hand was as white as snow). I felt a little bad for the mother and daughter in front of us who were trying to find two seats in a particular cinema which would allow them to sit beside each other. I don’t know what happened to them. Mommy probably told the daughter to sit two rows behind. What can you do, Mom wants her some Edward Cullen and she’s the one who’s paying – no one can argue with that.

We couldn’t watch Madagascar 2 because I’ve already seen that, which annoyed my brother. We could have watched One True Love but we’re not that rebellious.

I love Bolt. :) I just hated the fact that they screened two scenes of it when I saw Burn After Reading a week ago, John Travolta and Miley Cyrus saying, “This movie’s unlike any animated movie you’ve seen before.” WHAT? What’s with the hard sell? It turned me off. Doesn’t Disney get that people are going to watch whatever crap they’re going to cough up, no matter how ridiculous? Yes, even if it’s a movie about a 78-year-old man who ties balloons to his house so he can visit South America.

When they screened those two scenes, I actually became suspicious: maybe Bolt’s going to suck. Why else would they sell it so hard?

But it didn’t. Damn you Disney! *shakes fist*

* * *

Before watching the film, I had to drag my ass around the mall in order to help my brother find a gift for his girlfriend. After 45 minutes (inclusive of two rest stops, my request) of walking in and out of shops, I looked within myself and said, with all the sincerity I could muster, What the fuck are you doing? You’re a self-respecting individual!

We entered Silverworks because my brother wanted to give the girlfriend a pair of earrings. I asked what kind of earrings, and my brother said dangling earrings, so I asked the girl at the counter, “Do you have any dangling earrings?” She brought out a display rack. I pointed at a pair and said these look nice, but my brother said he didn’t like the stones.

The girl at the counter looked at my brother, turned to me, gave me a big smile, and said, “Ma’am, try niyo.”

My brother, who was taller than me, had his arm around me. I saw the girl’s smile and was horrified when I realized what she was thinking.

But I didn’t want to ruin her day. We left without correcting her.

* * *

I was given the same smile when we crashed into Girbaud and inspected the bags. (My brother handed me one bag after another and positioned me in front of the mirror like a mannequin. “I wanted to see how it looks like when you carry it.”) Ulk. I wanted to wear one of those shirts with the arrow, but mine would say, I’M WITH MY BROTHER YOU CAN STOP SMILING NOW.

* * *

They’ve banned Plurk at the office, after banning Multiply, Friendster, and Facebook. You can’t even Google the term “proxy”! (Trust me, I tried.)

One day, those people from IT will walk in on us and find us cutting ourselves, saying, “I can’t feel anymore!” Or, they’ll find us starting fires, torturing small animals, dancing naked in a circle as if it were the Middle Ages.

I don’t know how I’m going to survive the holidays at work.

* * *

This morning an old woman stopped me on the stairs, saying the apartment has a clogging problem and so every unit has to pay 110 pesos and can I spare some now because the men are already here. She pointed vaguely beyond the staircase. Clogging problem? But I just took a bath and the drain in our bathroom worked okay.

She spoke in English every now and then. I said I’ll go ask my landlady about the payment. She said I should give the money now so the men could start working. (And I was thinking, What men? I don’t see any.) I told her I was going to be late. Then she said something that gave me the sense that she hated my landlady’s guts.

According to my landlady, the woman was a former building administrator who was suspected of graft and corruption, and who actually owed my landlady’s family some money.

She seemed crazy, too. I don’t know. I hope she doesn’t own a gun. Or a pipe wrench.

what you find in the asking

In 2007, in my last semester in the University, a poetry professor asked us to write 50 questions that we find important. Well, I was checking files in my flash drive just a few minutes ago and found that document. Interesting.

I wonder what my classmates’ questions were. I wonder what other people ask themselves. :)

Some of the questions:

  1. Is there a God, and how much of the stories about Him are true?
  2. Is there an afterlife? What will that life be like?
  3. After we die, will our consciousness remain intact? Will we retain our memories? Will we be able to remember our names, our loved ones’ names, the books we’ve read, the stories we’ve written?
  4. If we won’t remember who we are, then what’s the use of trying to understand the world?
  5. Where did (re: evolution) the first single-celled organism come from?
  6. And where did that thing come from? Where did everything come from? What’s the source of everything?
  7. Does the universe have a boundary?
  8. There is a theory about the universe that says that the universe “has always been”, that it has no beginning. It has always been. Is that true? How is that possible? How can anyone grasp that idea? How can that ever be imagined?
  9. Do we have a soul, meaning something eternal, something distinct from our physical bodies? Or is the thing we call the “soul” just the end product of chemical/electrical reactions in our brains, in other words something still connected to the physical?
  10. Is memory organic? (I’ve read of an experiment where a needle to the brain was able to liberate a patient’s memory of an event) Is the mind different/separate from the brain?
  11. I’ve read somewhere that the second that elapsed after the Big Bang contained a “dark age”. Scientists don’t know what, if anything, occurred within this period. What happened?
  12. Do we have a purpose—something connected to fate (if there is such a thing), something connected to the cosmos—or do we just invent one for ourselves?
  13. If we are just animals, then morality is simply a human creation, a product of our brain’s evolution. Then good/evil is simply a social contract. Then it is a curse, because we feel bad—guilt, grief, sadness—for something—murder, rape, assault—that, as animals, we would have observed without any emotion. Is this correct?
  14. Why are we aware that we are going to die? Animals aren’t. Is that the curse of evolution, too?
  15. Is evil (e.g. finding pleasure in hurting others) innate? Or largely a product of outside forces?
  16. Then how come there are children who are peaceful? Is that trait already in the DNA?
  17. Then who do you blame?
  18. What is the right way to raise a child?
  19. Is politics also just a curse of evolution? If it is, then caring about it is a joke. Is that true?
  20. Caring for anything is a joke, because nothing really means anything. Is that true?
  21. There are people who have lived and died without knowing what has been happening in Somalia, or some other far-off, impoverished place. What is the use of that knowledge then? Is it necessary? Is it necessary to whisper these stories to our kids at night?
  22. What would I have been like if I were able to have piano/violin/voice/dance lessons when I was a kid? Will I think/behave/write differently?
  23. Am I a writer, or am I just fooling myself?